How do you Deal with Death?

How I deal  with loosing my immediate family is different everyday. I know we all have to deal with death at some point in our life, how we ‘deal’ with it has an amazing affect on our life. Some people shut down, some people become social butterflies, some people act like it never happened.

I deal with my loss  different everyday. Every second of everyday I’m reminded that my family is gone. I lost my Mother first 8 years ago. I hear her talking to  me and giving me advice. When things are rough I wish I could feel her hug, lay in her lap. The years don’t make it any easier. I lost my brother first and then my father two weeks later to cancer soon to be 3 years. My mother and father were always in the back of my mind that I would have to face their death. But my brother died  just a few months after our birthday, which is 364 days apart, at the age of 40.

Having chosen Hospice for my brother to leave this life at  home, you could never be ready for it. They help you and prepare you for your help with your loved one. Nothing can prepare you or help you to watch someone you love die. I watched my brother go from a vibrant strong man to a shell of his former self in every way… physically and mentally and then his last breath.

I see his face and his body every day in my face and I can’t help him. Some days are worse than other but most days I remember good things….. things that make me laugh or things that he said….

I watched my father two weeks later go through the same transformation except my father never made it home. I left the hospital having to deal with not  only their passing, but everything that  goes with it…notifying loved ones, planning another  funeral, getting affairs in order, packing up the remaining items…etc. and then dealing with the reality every day…. when everyone is back to their normal routine… I have to deal with it. There are no words

No words…. I just deal with death


About jettybird

"I Choose to be Happy!" Mother, Lover, Friend, Fellow Human Being I've learned that Happiness is something that comes and goes. It's something that changes with Mood and Time and Circumstance. Making a choice to feel happy is not always easy or even something that can be achieved in some situations. I want to be at peace I want happiness.. I have also figured out if relationships (in particular with your spouse, partner, friend, fiancee, husband, lover or whateve you call them is not in a "peaceful place", it can affect yur whole world, well- being, mood and mental state. Obviously the emotional state is usually the first thing that you feel, then everything else comes down, when things are bad. When things are good, all those things feel good. I've learned to smile, cope and act happy when that is the furthest from how I really felt and these letters poems and thoughts will be what I've and other women have wanted to say and express but have not found the right forum for it. This is another way to look at it,,, something for men to read and listen to, explore, and for women to relate or feel or just see.... How ever you choose to use it it is up to you. Express
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3 Responses to How do you Deal with Death?

  1. My grandparent & great-grandparents raised me from the age of 5, I still think about them every single day….I still talk to them too, and if you listen very, very close, you can hear them answer you.


  2. So sorry to hear about your losses. Big hugs to you.

    For me, I have found that I never really ‘deal’ with death, rather I have learned to live with the losses. They have become part of me and who I am.

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